How I became a neurodivergent healer's healer
A look inside my Mary Poppins bag of healing modalities, & how I they got there.
I’m a healer’s healer. By that, I mean that I have been seeking healing for a long time via many routes, and have much in the way of knowledge and wisdom to share with my fellow healers. As a seasoned seeker & healer, I help other healers & changemakers to gain a deep stability that amplifies their impact in the world.
Like many people, my life has presented me with obstacles for which I’ve sought remedies.
I have been privileged to see a great many healers over the years. I’ve worked with an arguably absurd number of psychotherapists of various certifications, psychiatrists and psych NPs, massage therapists, physical therapists, medical doctors, midwives, acupuncturists, coaches, somatic healers, Ayurvedic, shamanic, & reiki practitioners, intuitives and tarot readers…and probably some others that aren’t coming to mind.
As a member of the burgeoning late-diagnosed autistic women movement, I see my neurodivergence as central to this seeking. I reach burnout faster than most neurotypical people. When that happens, my mental health tends to destabilize and my sacrum goes out of alignment. Like many autistic people (especially women - and especially especially undiagnosed women), my mental health has been volatile since early childhood. Keeping some semblance of emotional & mental balance has long required noteworthy effort from both me and the people in my corner.
Along the way, I’ve made a lot of stops to gather skills that help to keep me stable -- and to right the ship when things go astray. Thus, we arrive at a backdrop narrative for my healer’s healer identity.
When I was in my early 20s (~2011), I learned to use Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. That helped a lot with long-term tendencies towards intractable depression & passive suicidal ideation.
Around this time, I started realizing the benefit of regular vinyasa yoga practice. That helped me to build physical strength and feel calmer and more connected with myself. Here’s a great lunar/evening practice I’ve used countless times since - if you can believe it - 2008!
The social worker who taught me DBT is named Nancy Prowell. She inspired me to become a social worker, too. But first, I had to finish my bachelors degree. My 7th attempt at college stuck; I got a BA in psychology from SUNY Geneseo in 2015.
When I was in my mid-late 20s (~2015/16), I found kundalini yoga. That sparked a mental health revolution in my life.1 Through kundalini, I was able to process SO MUCH mental and emotional garbage that had accumulated over the years and was holding me back. My daily kundalini practice got me off psychotropic meds for the first time since I was ~7.2 Kundalini is like organized stimming. It has a powerful effect on our entire physiology - especially when it comes to our energy and endocrine systems.
While getting my Masters in social work from 2015-2017, I started learning how to apply trauma-informed practices, and I trained to become an EMDR therapist.3 An intense encounter during training led me to seek my own EMDR therapy, and I found it to be very helpful - especially for unlocking the overpowering belief that something was terribly and shamefully wrong with me. 4
When I finished my MSW, I had the good fortune to study immersively with Kia Miller and became certified to teach kundalini and vinyasa yoga. The trainings I did with Kia changed my life. I didn’t have all the dots connected at the time (I only realized that I’m on the spectrum in late 2023), but they helped me to start unpacking the trauma I’d accumulated from being autistic in a culture that preferences neurotypical realities.
While I’d initially planned on using my MSW to become a therapist, my experience as an intern at a public mental health clinic led to a shift in direction. I realized how burnt out a great many of my colleagues were, stuck as they were between the rock & hard place of “productivity” in mental health provision.
I realized that this route would not work for me. I knew trying to work as a therapist under these systems would burn me out real fast, likely leading me to leave the field. So I switched tacts, getting curious about how to support the healers. I think of this work as harm reduction - knowing that our systems are broken and that people receiving services need help, how can we support those doing the good work to sustain their good work?
This led me to explore Ayurveda, and I got certified as an Ayurvedic health coach back in 2019. Discovering Ayurveda was another thrilling revolution for me. To apply Ayurvedic philosophy is pretty counter to a lot of modern-day living tendencies. It leads to stabilization of physical health, sleep, mental health, and creativity. Realizing the power of syncing my body with nature’s rhythms, I was inspired to bring others along for the ride.
Just as the pandemic was starting, I started a Zoom-based, year-long group coaching program called Being Extraordinary where healers (e.g., social workers, professors, mental health & medical clinicians, yoga teachers, parents, & holistic healers) learned the habits of yoga and Ayurveda.5 I learned a lot (sometimes in really hard ways) about becoming more trauma-informed as a leader. I’m passionate sharing what I’ve learned about trauma-informed care for many reasons - not least of which, it makes services much more accessible for clients & makes providing these services a lot more enjoyable.
I also watched the participants transform their health, heal their relationships with food and their bodies, and increase their capacity for self-love. All of this in a container focused on building sustainable self- and collective-care habits.
It was an amazing experience -- and relatively short-lived. About 18 months after BE started, I was due to give birth. Running BE had been tough during my difficult pregnancy, and I knew I had no business trying to keep ‘er running after Goldie arrived.
Around the time I began BE, I started doing some consulting and training around trauma-informed practices with my mentor Mickey Sperlich, PhD and sustainable wellness for social workers, activists, & human service professionals. My postpartum experience kept me from being able to do very much of this work. I lost momentum, save for a handful of repeat clients. But it gave me an enjoyable taste for providing people in the field with much-needed skills about nervous system regulation and, again with the Ayurvedic piece, deepening the rhythm in their lives.
Now, with Goldie nearing 2 and ½, I’m getting back in the game. As a multipassionate, neurodivergent person with a beautiful cast of rotating fixations, there’s an endless list of things I could do. And I’ve challenged myself to stay focused, because if I try to do everything I feel like doing, I won’t gain the traction I need in order to have the kind of impact I know a) is needed in this world and b) I’m capable of.
SO. This healer’s healer is focusing on group coaching for now. Why? Because it’s the thing in this narrative that’s been the most impactful and given me the most joy. It’s a space where I can embrace my unmasked self, and where I can be confident that the people showing up will appreciate that not only for what it is, but for the permission we give each other by unmasking in good company.
The Greenhouse (my husband James suggested the name) is a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly group coaching container for healers & changemakers. We’re taking off in late March of 2025. I ran a pilot of it back in August of 2024 and it went inspiringly well. If you’re picking up what I’m putting down, by all means - come thru!
1 Join me for kundalini yoga via Zoom, Sundays from 2-3pm EST!
2 I don’t think the meds actually ever worked for me, but it was better to be on them just in case.
3 EMDR is an effective trauma-specific therapy
4 That something, I now recognize, was my neurodivergence. My awareness of my difference led to a lot of dissonance between embracing my weirdness and heavily masking -- to avoid others seeing what was “wrong with me.”
5 We also had a segment focused on social justice, taught by my brilliant friend & colleague Dayatra Amber.
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